Women’s brains are all over the place! It’s literally impossible for them to stop thinking, and for most of them, even when they’re sitting quietly, their brains are still running a million miles a minute. When a girl meets a new guy she would consider dating, her brain goes into over-drive. While her brain is in this over-drive state of deciding whether you’re a worthy dating candidate, there are certain steps her brain goes through in judging your character and life situation. Depending on her romantic goals, she may go through the steps in a slightly different order than the next girl, but cues in conversation will help show you what she’s thinking.
It may take a while to get the hang of picking up exactly what’s going through a woman’s brain, but with a basic idea of her thought process and the criteria most women have, practice will make you nearly perfect at it.
1. Are you attractive?
This is the first thing any girl notices about a member of the opposite sex: how good he looks and how physically attractive she finds him. If you don’t pass this first test of appearing at least a little attractive to her, you may still be able to have incredible conversations with her, but heavy flirting and dates are out of the question. Instead of trying to look like some dude that stepped right out of a fashion magazine, embrace who you are remembering that everyone’s type is different, and even if one girl doesn’t find you attractive, handfuls of others will.
2. Do you have a decent personality?
After she starts talking with you, she’ll subconsciously try to see whether or not your personality type is agreeable with hers. Does she find you pretentious? A push-over? A jerk or know it all? A nice guy? Again, all women have slightly different preferences, but the basics you need to cover are being genuinely nice, smiling easily, and having an inviting air about you that doesn’t push others away.
3. Are you stable?
Once you start talking about what your lives are like, she’ll be able to get better insight into your stability. The basic question here is whether or not you’re able to support and take care of yourself, or if you’re a bum. Show her that you’re passionate about either your job or a side hobby, and that you stay engaged with life in the time you spend outside of work. Show her you aren’t the type of guy sitting on his parents’ couch eating chips and playing video games all day long.
What you do for a living plays a big part in your stability as a potential boyfriend too. People naturally exchange this information right of the bat without even thinking about it. Hopefully you’re jobs aren’t morally opposable to the other person, and a lot of people use it to gauge whether they come from the same socioeconomic class, or one that is agreeable.
4. What are your interests and hobbies?
Do your interests match on at least some level? Are your interests compatible even if they’re not the same? Most of the time, your interests and hobbies aren’t a deal-breaker unless there is one thing she finds absolutely appalling. For example, if you enjoy hunting but she’s a vegan and animal rights advocate, you might want to simply thank her for her time and move on, or enjoy her company as a new acquaintance without the pretense of trying to get a date later. Fortunately, such cases are few and far between, and most people can find ways to get along with people they’re attracted to.
5. The way you speak and think of others
A lot of men think the only opinion that matters to women is what their men think of them, but they couldn’t be more wrong. The way you talk about other people in your life – yes, even your terrible boss – makes a lasting impression. Having the opinion that everyone is stupid and ignorant does not paint you in a favorable light or automatically make you smart in her eyes. If you don’t get along with someone, you can say so, but leave it at that. Don’t let hate or anger rise up in you, and if she asks for a reason, chalk it up to what it really is: a difference in opinion or personality.
6. What are your relationship goals?
Most women don’t come right out and ask this, but will be able to tell by how you interact with other women and your fiends. Clues like the way you and your friends talk with each other, especially about girls, how much cologne you’re wearing, what you’re drinking, and the amount of alcohol you try to buy her speak a thousand times greater than any words ever could.
These six questions cover all the basics each woman covers in her mind before agreeing to a date with a man. Most of these things, besides the stability question, go completely undetected in conversation, so it’s best to know about them ahead of time. Once you know the basic criteria women are judging you on, you can plan your approaches and plan different things to say that will appeal to different types of women in different contexts.